How do I cross the gap between us

I know where I am right now and it’s not bad. I’ve worked hard, been disciplined when I needed to be and generally had a good time getting here. People see me and give me a pat on the back — you’re doing so well. I disagree. I know where I am right now and it’s not where I want to be. I’ve been in this situation before, mind you. Having a clear picture of the person I would like to be and striving to stamp that vision onto reality. The problem, this time, is I don’t know if I have it in me to surmount yet another mountain. Because it takes a shit ton of effort to change course, to overcome the inertia, to break the status quo. In truth, I’m comfortable here and maybe what I need to do is embrace that comfort and optimise it rather than seeking yet another elevation? There is an idea I heard expressed once, about how there is no such thing as stagnation, only growth and retrogression, and if you think you are stagnant you are actually retrogressive but haven’t realised it yet. Fair enough, but even so, small, incremental growth is still growth and won’t require the massive shift that I would have thought I needed. I’m glad I got to send you this letter. It has at least gotten the matter off my chest even though I’m still not sure what the resolution is. See you soon, in the mirror, hopefully.